picture postcards

ADVICE: it's free, just take it; you don't have to use it.

A boyfriend can be a good friend BUT a good friend can never be a boyfriend.
This is so random but oh wells haha...it makes sense and it helps me see things in a better perspective.

Moving on...
I'm feeling terribly lonely now. I have friends around me but it doesn't feel real enough. Don't get me wrong. I like their company, their personalities but I miss speaking frankly, honestly, truly as myself. Now, I tend to keep things to myself and when I do want to say something, it has to be kept locked up in that little box of my mind. I thought I had found someone to confide in already but it doesn't seem to work that way. They have offered but it's not the same as actually knowing you can count on that offer.
It's said that "we always want what we can't have"; I strongly believe in that, that's why I'm feeling kind of forlorn and lost...lonely. I'm in a new place, in a new environment. I am absolutely enjoying the new experience, it'll be a lifelong golden memory but sometimes, you need someone who can listen to you and just be yours entirely; someone whose "good friend" status will not change. Do we really need so much change in this world? Can't stasis be beneficial too? Sometimes, progress makes me sick because with that progress, we lose certain things dear to us. Even in growing up, we lose our childhood, our toddler years, our dependence. A psychologist once said, "a child's fears and worries are a gift to his parents". Once we grow up, we lose this right to dependent anymore and fend for ourselves.
When I'm tired and weary, I look for someone out there to take this burden from me, just to relieve me of this pain for a minute but I look around and see no one. This loneliness smothers me until it sinks into my skin and fades away with time. It may fade but its mark will stay forever, a scar for remembrance.