picture postcards
Saturday, June 10, 2006
NOSTALGIA
Childhoos photos never fade...they just get a little fuzy and closer to your heart.
Remember the time when we were 3? We would run to the playground together and race to the swings; riding up into the cool delicious air, watching the cotton candy clouds blush beautiful shades of pink, purple and orange, all this while swinging higher and higher into the air, as though we could swing up into the heavens and never fall down...Then when we were 6, I finally got my own bike. We would race up and down that tiny stretch of road, squealing with delight each time we reached the other end of the road. At 8, we exchanged dolls, playing dress up and tea party. Catwalk shows, hair salons, the works. Time moved on and at 12, we were exchanging pointers about netball, talking about the latest games and scores, passing the ball through the air while we talked. As we grew up, we seemed to move pretty far apart. The luxury of time was not for us but when we did chance upon a common free time, we would pace up and down that tiny stretch of raod that once looked so big, talking and walking until the stars came out, talking and walking until way past 10,11 even 12. I miss it now, I really do...
First loves are always loved, aren't they?
I still remember that time: my mum had made me wear something hideous and I hated it. I thought it made me look stupid and I was in a pretty ugly mood. I was scowling at everyone and hoping that it created a sort of ring of "energy" to keep happy people away. You were no exception of course, I scowled at you but you just smiled right back at me. The frown on my face softened at that smile and when I turned to look at you again, you were gone. The scowl resumed. You had that naughty boy air about you, with an impish grin to match. I became mor ebesotted with you every time I saw you and ever since I noticed you, you seemed to appear more often, just when I least expected it. I kept thinking about when I would see you again or if I might see you along the streets. 2 years later, I looked at you and shook my head. I couldn't believe I ever fell for you. Heck, I still can't believe it now. Sometimes, when I see you, I receive a little electric jolt, then I shake my head and turn away and sigh. Haha..some first love huh?
BFF: Best friends forever
To me, "best friends" is just a term to describe a friend who has won your admiration and has stuck with you through thick and thin, no matter what. It was a term reserved for the best only and to me, no one had ever reached that standard. Sure, I had good friends, really close friends even but best friends? Nah. Then, graduation came and left and all of a sudden, I realised my safe haven of friends was torn apart and scattered. My close friends all promised to be there through thick and thin but when the time came, it didn't seem very convincing. I lost some of my earliest friends but maybe, people change. Yet all this time, you were there for me. When I was confused and in a really foul mood, you stood by me and reassured me. When I got my heart broken, you were also there, not so much giving me words of comfort but helping me to get over it in the fastest possible way and I thank you for that. When I was at home or overseas and I needed someone to talk to, I could count on you. We talked on the phone every night when I was away and you helped me through some really awkward issues haha...Till this day, you have been the only one who has used the phrase "BFF" to describe our friendship. If I've seemed like a spoilt brat in my lousy moods, I'm sorry but do know that I'm extrmemly grateful for the times you were by my side, in person or in text message or even in spirit. I love you so much Britney Spears' greatest fan :)
Everywhere, people are afraid of it but when you learn to embrace it, death is a celebration of life.
Just days ago, my parents' friend passed away and in fact, today was the day of her funeral. I knew her husband; the youth had gone on an overseas trip with him and he was our jolly uncle. The deceased had been diagnosed with cancer quite a while back but uncle had lived with it and accepted it. It was a wonder how he could carry on so normally with life, accepting it and being there for his family. When I attended the wake with a friend, I could tell he was upset by it but he was more upset over Uncle's loss rather than the loss of the deceased. "How could this happen to a man like him? He's so nice and he's such a good man...it's unfair.", my friend mused. I could only comfort him with, "hey, things happen. Let's go in and say hi to him alright?" I kept thinking about what he said afterward, even until now. Life isn't very fair but when you think about it, you can't help but feel as if uncle had been dealt an injustice; he did so much and gave so much...it did seem a little unfair. I really started thinking about the whole issue of life and death from there. Life is so fleeting, you never really know when you will have to say goodbye to your loved ones. My only wish is that if I have to go, I would like to have settled everything; say my thank yous and I love yous to each and everyone that mattered. That's why my childhood memories are so important because they are the windows to my past, to each and everyone that mattered to me. The most consoling fact was that uncle's wife is now in heaven, watching over her family from up above. Her death was more touching than sorrowful and you could tell that their love was something that would carry on now and forever. Someone once said that those who have passed on are stars in the skies, looking down from up above. Everytime you looked up and saw one winking at you, you knew they were checking on you from up above...
May the angels come and greet you, may they speed you up to paradise.
Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves and Immortality.
We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away My labor, and my leisure too,
For his Civility. -- Emily Dickinson
In remembrance of a beloved mother, wife, sister and friend...
